a baby lying on its back

Why do babies cry?

  • First of all, this seminar included a summary of the chapter in Aletha's Book of Conscious Babies in which she detailed the subject of 'Crying '. How natural crying was, how critical suppression of crying can have critical consequences for child mentality, was the main theme of the seminar as in the book.
  • When our baby cries, each of us has our own feelings and thoughts. Our reactions here are actually very relevant to the parenting attitude we saw as children. When our baby cries, we can feel 'helpless', 'incompetent', 'scared', 'guilty', 'rejected', 'confused'. How our parents reacted to us when we cried in our own childhood is an element that also affects our parental identity. We must not ignore the effect of the unconscious, which is activated to be or not like our parents or that childhood.
  • We can't spoil children by loving them, carrying them in hugs, accompanying them.
  • There are various reasons underneath the baby cry; physical needs, need or excess of stimuli, need for compassion, traumatic experiences and daily stress.
  • The biggest mistake parents make is ignoring babies' crying needs and distracting them to stop crying. However, even though all their needs have been met, a baby needs to cry to relieve the accumulated tension.
  • It's strange to many that babies have accumulated tensions and traumatic experiences. But baby life is fraught with stresses. The difficulties that the baby experiences in the womb and at birth, the nature of the care he receives from his parents, the emotional state of his parents, the baby's fear of any situation, more or less stimulation, medical operations, diseases, disappointments he experiences and of course neglect and abuse stresses them.
  • There are patterns of behavior in which parents unwittingly suppress their babies' crying behavior. To say 'crying' to a crying baby/child, to punish him, to threaten him, to avoid being in a relationship with him, to make fun of him for crying, to feed him as soon as he cries, to distract him, to make him talk, to give substances that will end crying, such as opium etc...
  • Although these patterns of behavior interrupt crying behavior in the short term, they harm the child and the relationship in the long run. Today we know that many adults have various behavioral patterns to suppress their emotions. All kinds of substance use, emotional eating, nail-biting, excessive mobility, addictions, excessive consumption... All these patterns of behavior have their origins in insion. It is no coincidence that someone whose crying is suppressed and immediately given food in their mouth resorts to food in stressful moments in the future.
  • Whatever the reason, being in contact with babies, maintaining interaction reduces crying time. Breastfeeding the baby, making skin contact, looking, talking to him, massaging him, playing games, holding him, carrying him on a hanger, being in a dimly lit environment, supporting him to stay in contact with the ideal stimulus, accompanying him in sleep... We know that in cases where the caregiver is nearby, babies who are comforted and sedated by the caregiver cry less.
  • It is a healing journey for a child in need of emotional expression to cry in the safe arms of his parents and to be free of tension.
  • Aletha told me about various studies on crying. All the research results were in the same place. Crying has a role that is very functional and keeps the individual alive in the life cycle: Crying allows the body to relax, to calm oneselsel. Cortisol (stress hormone) is excreted from the body, endorphins and natural painkillers are produced in the body. Oxytocin provides a sense of serenity. Foreign substances around the eyes are cleaned. The parasympathetic system kicks in. Crying is a natural healing process.
  • Let's make up with crying. When our children cry, it's actually a biological reaction. For millenn years, human beings have been programmed to continue their generation better.  When we divert the attention of the crying child for something we don't know why, we prevent the release of the loaded forces that are meant to be expeded from the body and mind. The crying baby is both expending energy and sweating. This is an important opportunity to freely release the tension in the body. What a healing to accompany the crying baby, to cover him, to hug him, to express his feelings, to say, 'This was difficult for you, you are disappointed, I am here, I am with you'...
     
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