Specificgen, in a nutshell, means that the person loves himself, sees himself as valuable, positive. This can happen in many different areas such as positive vision, behaviors, emotions, appearance, beliefs. Of course, we are not talking about an extreme point of feeling perfect in each of them, it is important that the person feels 'sufficient' to the extent that it is good for him or her.
I think that self-confidence is a concept that is frequently found in everyday language, that every parent will want to see in their child, but that the same amount of effort is not made to form within the family structure.
Some of the words I hear a lot are: "Ours is a little introverted.", "I think there's a lack of self-confidence.", "He can't do anything on his own.", "He's not a kid who takes what he's holding." You may have such thoughts, but hearing them from your child's mouth will only further break his self-esteem.
I know that no parent wants their child to see it this way, but rather to make them feel more adequate, strong and safe. Well, at this point, it's time to stick some screws in! Because, as with everything else, you are the guide in this regard and it is only possible for him to grow up to be a confident child with your approach.
• Offer options. To the extent that the circumstances allow, leave the choice to him. Especially in decisions about yourself, it means a lot more than you think. A young child, of course, may not be able to make the right decision immediately by thinking about every aspect, but if you give him reasonable options, he feels capable of having a say in his own life by choosing what is within him. It's the first step in his ability to make important decisions about his life in the future. And it's as simple as asking, "Do you want orange juice or cherry juice?" instead of "He likes orange juice."
• Superficial or exaggerated appreciation. Children are sensitive to know if your words are sincere. So take care to give your child comments that reflect your realistic and sincere opinion. I'm sure you can find a positive side to everything he produces. For example, for a picture he made, he would always say, "You're great! You made a perfect picture!" The details of the tree are also very nice."
• Avoid harsh criticism. Sometimes a word that doesn't seem too heavy to you can damage his self-esteem. Think a little more before criticizing and choose the words carefully. You might be saying my kid doesn't care about that. Don't be fooled by the fact that it looks like this, every word that weighs heavily on it is processed deeply with all its weight, and unfortunately in the future, it manifests itself clearly as a feeling of inadequacy.
• Appreciate the effort, not the result. If you appreciate his efforts, rather than a success-oriented perspective on subjects such as lessons and a sport he is interested in, success will ultimately come. "I see your efforts in mathematics, I'm sure it will get better over time.", "You put a lot of effort into basketball, I see you're improving.", "I'm proud of your efforts!"
• Assign. As part of the whole family, the child must take part in the work department, even if it is very small. Giving your child work that is age-appropriate, difficult to do, helps him to feel satisfied and self-sufficient that he can help you. Carrying something, picking up a place, holding the end of a job you're doing, it's a very valuable opportunity for him to feel important, even if it seems insignificant.
• Give him his responsibilities. Give him space to take care of all the things he can do. In our society, the job description of mothers is quite broad and there is not much role for the child to take on their own responsibilities. When the child you do everything when you're little grows up, you want him to take responsibility, to do his own thing, but unfortunately it's too late for that! Because you're expecting something from him that he's not used to and hasn't learned.
• Make mistakes, be patient. The perception of a parent who cannot tolerate mistakes can lead to the child acquiring a perfectionist point of view. This increases the likelihood of anxiety disorder. He may not be able to clean his room as perfectly as you, but let him be disturbed by the mess and keep it cluttered until he can do better. When you say, "This isn't going to do, I'll take care of it," he doesn't have to do it. However, the child can only learn by trying on his own two feet and being wrong. Let him have that pleasure.
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