When you were a kid, when you were young, did your parents offend you in front of your friends? What about your own child, when you're angry with your peers? Sometimes the things that the child, the young man, say make the parent really nervous. It's hard to tolerate being rude and arrogant, especially when you're around other people. The parent may perceive their child's behavior as a threat. In fact, the amygdala area of the brain is stimulated and begins to react to stress as a result of the child's behavior. When a parent warns their child in front of other people, especially when they offend their child in front of their friends, the relationship suffers a great wound. The child's hostile feelings and thoughts towards his parent are fed. Losing social dignity in the eyes of his friends is a great price to pay, and he is prepared to do anything to regain it.
What can a parent do when they have difficulty with their child? How can he approach regulation?
• By taking deep breaths, the body can change its position.
• Focuses on grounding where it sits. He listens to all his senses. It pays attention to where you are at that moment, how you feel, what's going on in your body.
• "What do I need right now? What does my child need? What might be the ideal time to address this issue?"
• If we have intense stress, we are more likely to react disproportionately. Once the body is controlled, he questions, "What could really trigger me in this situation?" It may be the perception of self that is triggered: 'I'm worthless, I'm unloved, I'm incompetent'.
• What other emotions may be underlying the anger? Shame? Bitter? Because it's important to listen to real feelings.
• "What did my parents do when I had similar attitudes when I was young? How would I wish they'd behave? Did I make myself clear when I was a teenager? Could it be that my child's adolescence and my adolescence are resurgent?"
I wish you all the best in the process, dear parent!
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