Our most important agenda today is the earthquake. The earthquake is the bleeding wound of our country. I walked into the garden of the apartment building where I lived, thinking about what to look out for while talking to the children about the earthquake. Children are my inspiration. As I opened my folders in my mind, the answer was waiting for me right in front of me. The precious children of our apartment had set up tents in the garden, going in and out, laughing, playing games. Children feel so good about what's good for them, what's good for them! "Tomorrow will be a school holiday!", ‘Was there an earthquake? Run!” I've seen your games. These games will allow children to get the tension out of their bodies.
After today's earthquake, it will be very, very effective to play earthquake simulation games, escape and capture games with camping, tents, children who can tolerate it. A lot of laughter, and for some, crying, shaking, talking, writing, drawing and playing have such a healing effect! Oh, the healing power of the game!
I would like to share a few points that need attention when children talk about difficult life events, crises:
- First, it is very important that parents regulate their own emotional states. After putting the oxygen mask on himself, it is possible to care for the child. If you have intense emotions that you experience, sharing them with other adults, expressing them, and spending time on activities that are good for you can be good tools for regulation.
- When talking to children about the process, depicting the event that happened to them and naming their feelings helps to understand the process. For example, “there was an earthquake today. We were having dinner. We're a little shaky. You're scared. It's passed now. I'm here, and we're safe.” as.
- Children should avoid sharing details that are scary and not appropriate for their age. Although children don't hear you when you talk, they don't seem to be interested in you, they actually hear you and notice what's around them.
- It is comforting to say that the child and your family are safe and that you have taken the necessary security measures and measures.
- It is important to give as honest answers to the child's questions as possible. He must avoid lying no matter what. It will be effective to use scientific sources when describing an earthquake, which is a natural disaster, to talk about earth movements and to talk about the process with concrete examples. I can suggest an effort to use realistic, clear, clear, simple, simple and concrete expressions.
- Children can talk about what they feel about the events and the process, what they think about the subject. But if you think and feel that the child is not nervous, there will be no need to constantly raise the issue.
- Some children Express and express their thoughts verbally, some Express and express them with their paintings, some with their games, some with their dreams, nightmares, regression behavior. It is important that children are closely monitored in this process. Toys that the child uses in the game, repetitive games and drawings, the dominant colors that he uses, repetitive dreams will give clues to the child's inner world.
- In this process, it is very important to stick to the child's routines. Routine is the continuation of everyday life for the child, that is, the continuation of normality. Therefore, food, play, work, sleep, the process should be continued at similar hours as possible.
- It is important to convey to children that they can ask about any topic they are interested in. But the important point here is to avoid giving excessive information and terrorizing the child in the name of being sincere. It is enough to make age-appropriate explanations and answer as much as the child asks.
- You can share your own feelings with your child. It's like,’ I'm surprised that there's been such a situation, that there's been such an incident.' In this way, the child will understand that anxiety, fear, sadness are normal and expressive emotions.
- Whatever happens, it is important not to lie to the child and not to mitigate what is happening. An attempt to mitigate and hide events will cause the child to doubt the sincerity of the parent. Therefore, a child who is caught up in such a perception will later believe that the reliable source for information is not his parent. It will be enough to give less, realistic and concise information.
- It is necessary not to offend the child because of the feelings he feels and expresses. In order to encourage the child, it is important to avoid any situations that may cause him to suppress his feelings. Instead of saying 'what is there to fear, dear', ' what is it that bothers you so much? Do you want to talk about it, draw it, write about it, play it? using sentences like ' will open the way for communication with the child.
- Children perceive the drama and severity of events from the reactions of their parents. Therefore, the position of the family, the way it handles events, its evaluation and coping methods become a model for the child. It is important to take a solution-oriented approach instead of a problem.
- Children can ask the same questions over and over again. This actually sends the message that the child is processing traumatic information and trying to regulate his mood, he needs a channel to calm himself down. Answering and explaining without getting tired will comfort the child.
- In this process, it is also very important to be in plenty of contact with children, they hug, touch, show compassion. What child isn't good for the safe and caring arms of the parent?
- It is important to inform the school about the process. Making similar attitudes, attitudes and statements with children's teachers will make the child feel safe.
- It is useful to monitor children's media use unhindered. It is important to monitor sites and channels where children can reach more than their age can detect. It is important to follow the content, language, and transmitted images of television programs, News
- If your child is in a very anxious state, concerns, if you are experiencing difficulty regulates mood, if you're in a situation to lose functionality, the devolution process has started (if sub-wetting, nightmares, thumb sucking, nail biting, an increase in attention and concentration problems, such as sudden angry and calming) necessarily expert support will be useful.