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Home Life Mother Child How to deal with school fear?

How to deal with school fear?

Today, school rejection is defined as children not wanting to go to school and not being able to attend due to emotional problems such as anxiety and depression. There are many reasons for these emotional problems. The most common ones can be listed as follows;

The most important reasons for school rejection are:

· Fear that the child will never be reunited when he leaves the parents due to his insecure bond with the parents. The reason for this fear is the wrong attitudes of parents.

· Likewise, dependent mother-child relationships and families with distant father models.

· Parents who can't afford to leave their children and worry that something bad is going to happen to them at any moment.

All of the reasons mentioned above are related to erroneous parental attitudes. If the most important need of children is not provided with a sense of trust, children may experience many symptoms such as fear of school and rejection. For this purpose, it is necessary to establish a healthy and trust-based relationship with the child.

Fear of school is fear of being separated from the mother. In addition, children who do not want to leave the comfort of the house often have the problem of not wanting to go to school.

What to do in such a situation?

First of all, knowing that only your child is not experiencing this problem helps reduce anxiety.

- Some of the children who start primary school experience fear and rejection of school, replace the child yourself, how do you feel in an unfamiliar environment?  So, together with people who go to school as much as possible, explain in simple and short sentences what school is like, what is done, why it should go to school.

- If necessary, accompany your child, although it is only the first week. While you're at it, you can drop it all the way into the school, say, "I'm going to get you out of here after school," and wait for him where you say he is at the time you promised. This will also provide a sense of trust between you.

- Refuses to even enter the classroom, let him play with his friends in the garden and extend the time a little more each time. Then try doing the same in the class.

- Do your school shopping together and enthrize him.

- Be sure to include him in the preparations for evening school bags etc.

- Be sure to cooperate with the teacher and guidance service.

- Be calm and stable. When you behave calmly and decisively, this will affect your child and make solving the problem easier.

Never do it!

- Going to school with him every day, waiting at the door, attending class.

- Bargain! Bargaining attitudes like "If you go to school, we go to the movies on the weekend, I'll buy you this", etc., after a while, you'll be causing the kid to use you and teaching you a pattern of behavior like "I'll do my homework but if you let me play a computer."

- To say I'll come get you on the way out and not to come. The child's most important need in this process undermines the sense of trust. Just not being able to come at the time you promised undermines the child's basic need for confidence.

- Making comparisons. Comparisons such as "Your friend goes to school without crying" etc. make the child feel worthless and inadequate.

- Do you have homework from the first week? When do classes start? Don't ask questions.

As a result of scientific studies, it has been seen that; school adaptation problem and school rejection occur mostly due to familial problems. Therefore, it is necessary to get expert support regarding parental attitudes first.

Besides, you know your child best, is your problem a friend problem at school? Anxiety about failure? Is it a problem with your relationship with your teacher? Or is it really the fear of breaking up with mom and dad? You can determine and reach the solution according to the recommendations. However, if the solution of the problem takes more than a few weeks, it is necessary to seek support from a specialist.

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