Sometimes we think of anger as a harmful and unsupcited emotion and we can be mistaken. First of all, let's face it, anger is a very natural and healthy feeling to experience. It'd be weird if it didn't happen! Of course, it is not acceptable to live in the dimension of harming anger, but it is not right to be able to unleash the energy within us and to accumulate this feeling, let's not forget this.
What's the message of anger?
So what does it mean if a child is experiencing bursts of emotion that they can't control? What should parents understand from here? In its simplest form, you can think of it as a show of force after a situation that covers up a more delicate underlying cause and often feels inadequate. In fact, your child is going through something he's having trouble dealing with, so let's understand him first and make him feel like we're ready to help.
What can you do?
• To maintain your calmness. I know this may be the most challenging and unlikely method on the to-do list when your child is screaming as loud as he can, but when you're in a rage at the time, it's no different than pouring gasoline on a fire.
• First recognize the area. If he is exhibiting physically damaging behavior towards himself or anyone else, stop it immediately by intervening. Apart from that, if he's acting like yelling and crying, give him the right environment and time to experience his feelings, let him feel his anger, calm down.
• Talk later. There is a climax of anger and then a stage of calming down, and this is the best time to talk to each other. Your child may need to separate their emotions into conversation. Perhaps there are more fragile feelings hidden behind his anger, such as frustration, shame, sadness, and he did not know the exact way to express them.
• Approach with the right words. Instead of "What's there to be so angry about, dear!", "Why are you yelling?!", "Enough is enough thirst!" instead of "I understand you, you're angry when you don't have what you want.", "You're angry right now. Let's talk when you calm down", and if you make empathetic sentences, the child will feel understood.
• Teach him ways to properly extle his anger. You can teach your child how to live a healthy sense of anger:
- Talk about activities that will calm him down, identify harmless ways in his room where he can excrete his energy, such as punching his pillow, bouncing balls, listening to music, running.
- Create a dictionary of rage together. All kinds of words except profanity and insults can be edible to express the situations in which he is angry, and can be said aloud, even by shouting, acceptance.
- Although it varies completely according to your child's preference, painting, especially discharge using paints freely, is an effective method. For example, a wall or board in the room can be reserved for this.
- Writing is a useful method, especially during adolescence. The trick here is that the kid puts everything he's angry about on paper, then rips it into little pieces. I mean, in a sense, think of it as a controlled bomb disposal.
• Calm down with breath. You can teach your child to breathe towards them by gamifying or talking about their age. Slowly exhaling the deep breath from his nose and repeating it at least 10-15 times regulates his breathing and heart rhythm. You can do this by setting a calming corner of hers at home or by allowing her to learn children's yoga outside.
• Make him notice the arrival of anger. Explore the journey of anger together. In what situations, what symptoms come with it, what's going on in your body, what's going through your mind at that moment. By drawing a bell-shaped chart or a picture of a mountain on a sheet of paper, you can tell him that anger does not suddenly explode at the top, but gradually increases until you get there. During that ascent, make him notice the early signals.
• What do you do when you get angry? And finally, ask yourself that question. Don't expect him to do anything you can't do yourself. Mom, dad, sister or brother, think about what grown-ups do when they're angry. "We can all get angry, but first we wait to calm down, then we talk about the problem and look for solutions," he said.
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