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Home Life Mother Child 8 ways to deal with parting anxiety

8 ways to deal with parting anxiety

From birth, the baby considers himself to be one with the mother. The breast she sucks feels a sense of integrity as if it were an organ of her own, the lap she was in was her own body. From 6-8 months, she realizes that in fact the mother is a separate individual and can walk away from her. Of course it's a traumatic and worrying experience for him! Even going to the bathroom can create anxiety as if there is no irreversible separation or danger.

Although it varies from child to child, separation anxiety is expected to pass by itself shortly, until it is time for school and the first separation from home occurs. Here, separation anxiety may reappear. But again after a natural adaptation process, the child will get over it. Here are 8 tricks you can consider to get over it more easily:

1. In infancy, when only the mother takes care of the child, the separation process is more difficult for the child in the future. First the father, then other family members and relatives take care of the baby, if they spend time, these will be his first and most important experiences in getting used to 'strangers'. So you should encourage the family to do so.

2. From an early age, we can say that the word 'separation' goes the same way that the child encodes his brain. Therefore, what you, as a mother, make sense of goodbyes is critical to her perception. Instead of sad, unhappy breakups, choose to say goodbye with enthusiasm, smile. Keep breakup moments as short as possible.

3. Perhaps one of the behaviors that was done in good faith but caused the most damage: leaving the child unannounced, sneaking away. Don't let him get affected or not, I'll just leave, and the bond of trust between you is actually damaged. Leave by explaining where you're going, when you're coming/getting it, and saying goodbye. Try to stick to the plan you're telling me.

4. Allow your child to experience separation gradually during the preschool period. For example, if you intend to put it in the slot next semester, try short separations first as a preparation process. It will make things easier for your child to practice with people they know and feel safe with.

5. When you go to someone else's lap or on the first day of school, when the child leaves you, a reaction, crying, shouting indicates that it is an extremely natural and healthy adaptation mechanism. So be careful not to criticize or embarrass him with words like, "You've grown up, you've grown up, will you ever cry?"

6. The child decides whether the people/outside world is safe by looking at your relationship with strangers. For example, as her mother, being in close contact with her teacher at school, hearing that you have positive feelings about her, makes her trust the teacher, too. The people you approve of, love, trust seem 'trustworthy' to him.

7. Physically you can't be there for her all the time at school, but you can try ways to make her feel emotionally there for you. A little note on the pencil box, a little gift/item that reminds him of your presence, anything that represents you, can send a message that says, "This is with you, so know that I'm here."

8. If there is a certain ritual of separation moments, this makes it easier for your child to adapt. For example, to send him to school every morning with a kiss at the door or you send him off at the school gates. In the course of life, of course, there will be non-routine goodbyes. That's what it takes for the kid to get used to the unexpected. The important thing is not to disturb the general order.

You've done all this, but something's still wrong. At what point this is now a 'problem' and you need support: If it affects sleep patterns, continues for more than 1 month from the beginning of school, if you also observe the intensity of separation anxiety at home (such as not being alone with you in different rooms), and if you see physical effects such as nausea, diarrhea, headaches that do not have a medical explanation, I recommend working on this topic with the help of a specialist.

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